I’ve carried a lot of shame with not being in school and having made such a huge decision to move here largely based off of the hopes of being in school. No one ever expected me to be the one with the untraditional path, but the more I walk it, the more sense it makes. There is a weird air around taking a break from college, whatever the reason. I don’t think I ever planned on taking more than four years to graduate. I have felt as though I’ve disappointed a lot of people by not being in school. I do not know if I will go back into nursing, or when I will go back to school. I do not know if that will be here in South Carolina or if I will go back to Texas. I plan to get back into school at some point in the near future. It is a sweet and unique season of life that I wouldn’t trade for anything. We cook dinners and sit around our fire pit in the backyard and talk about boys and careers and futures and Sunday’s sermon and why the heck our electricity bill is so high. I’m also living with my two best friends. I’m officially a member now, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made while here in SC. And I have the most incredible church community here that encourages me and convicts me and loves me right where I am. But His character does NOT change though circumstances do. I’ve doubted that off and on since I moved here. I have been forced to surrender so very much to Him. I am doing my best to pursue Him wholeheartedly. “Evangeline, what are you doing with your life?” Now, we’ve come full circle to the questions I mentioned earlier, so I will try my best to answer them for you. I do not know if I will go back into nursing. I’ve been trying to figure out what the next step is. I loved nursing, and I was just getting into classes I really enjoyed.Īnd you, my concerned friend, are probably wondering, “if you’re not in school, what are you doing?” Was I crazy? Was everyone who doubted me right? Did I just want to hear what I wanted to hear? I felt the Lord calling me to South Carolina. I thought the Lord gave me a “yes” when I got into UofSC. This was supposed to be the reason I was in South Carolina, the reason I packed my life and 54 coffee mugs into boxes and drove 16 hours up the East Coast to start anew. I had no way to get them the money, and no back up plan. And I couldn’t continue classes if I didn’t pay them by the end of the week. I don’t know.Īnd then, one week into my new classes, living in a new state, doing my best to stay focused on the future and not the past and not “oh my gosh did I make a huge mistake moving here and throw away everything I had going for me”… I found out I owed the university $5,000. Maybe because everyone kept asking me about it. Maybe because of social media and how we feel we must represent ourselves. Maybe because I’ve always been quite an open book. Not only did I feel this heartbreak, but I felt this weird obligation to keep everyone who inquired up to date on how I was doing. Getting out of a long-term relationship is really difficult, even if it is for the best. I had recently ended a relationship, and that took a toll on me in ways I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with everyone. And I was accepted in to UofSC! I was going to be a Gamecock! It was thrilling, especially after a lot of uncertainty. This past year, I moved to Columbia, South Carolina to continue pursuing my degree at the University of South Carolina. I appreciate that, I swear.īut, in this craziness of transition, there has been a lot of confusion and guilt I’ve had to wrestle with. They want good things for me and my life. I mean, I’m surrounded by wonderful friends and family that care enough about me to want to know what’s going on in my life. Since 2018 has brought a lot of different changes, I haven’t been able to keep everyone up to date with my answers to these questions, but it seems that everyone still desires answers. “So, what are you doing with your life?” “What are your plans?” “Who/what do you want to be?” The daunting, retched question every twenty-something avoids like the plague at every large gathering. This year has been full of loving people asking me, in some form or another, the same question over and over again. As the year comes to a close, and I begin to reflect on everything that’s happened, I’m a little caught off guard by the amount of change in my life.
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